How To Find a Therapist in NYC
I grew up in a small town north of NYC where there were few local therapists (a recent psychology today search puts that number at 5). Of the ones available, the likelihood that you were connected to them either directly or tangentially was high. If you found a therapist within driving distance with availability who wasn’t your ex best friend’s aunt, you considered yourself lucky and didn’t worry too much about whether or not there was a good fit.
Finding a therapist in NYC is a different ballgame. And while one might think the experience is much easier than the small town search, the high number and type of therapists available in NYC can be so overwhelming you might find yourself wishing you only had five options to choose from.
Despite how overwhelming it might feel, having so many options increases the likelihood of finding a therapist who gets you, and that’s important. The therapeutic relationship is key to successful therapy. Therapy is a huge investment in time, energy, and finances. It’s worth the effort to find the right match. That said, I understand it’s not an easy task. So in an effort to provide some support from someone who has been on both ends of the search, here is my advice on how to find a therapist in NYC.
Ask Around. Take advantage of all the research and work your friends and family members have already done and ask them about their therapists. Do they have someone they would recommend for you? Here’s an expert trick: ask them to ask their therapist for a recommendation based on your needs. Sharing a therapist with a close friend or family member can be tricky (for you and the therapist). Many clients have asked me for referrals for their sibling, parent, or friend and I am more than happy to provide a list of therapists I know and trust.
Ask Another Professional. Ask your doctor, yoga instructor, duala, etc. Therapists often network with other professionals who work with the population they serve.
Schools and Universities. If you’re looking for a therapist for your child, their school counselor or social worker is the first place I would recommend looking. Schools often work closely with these professionals and have a curated list of highly recommended therapists. If you’re attending a university (or your child is), they should have a list of referrals, but also often provide counseling services themselves.
Turn to the Directories. This one is unavoidable (sorry). But luckily, I think there’s been some improvement in the online directories. For example, Mental Health Match utilizes a matching tool to provide you with a curated list of therapists and Therapy Den utilizes more filters than most other directories and promotes more transparent and authentic profiles. Open Path is a nonprofit that connects therapists with clients who lack health insurance or whose health insurance doesn’t provide adequate mental health benefits. The nice thing about directories and online platforms is you can find a therapist who has availability at your preferred time and is in network or within your out of pocket budget.
Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and Insurance Companies: Many workplaces have an EAP that offers free short term counseling and referrals. And if your health insurance includes mental health benefits, their website should have a list of in network providers.
Use some or all of these methods to find a handful of therapists who might be a good fit. Then I suggest calling/emailing them to request a free 15-minute consultation call/video. This is your opportunity to connect with the therapist in a more personal way. You can assess fit and get any questions answered without scheduling (and paying for) a full session. I find it helpful to go in with a list of your questions and take notes.
The therapist will likely ask you why you’re considering therapy now, if you’ve been in therapy before and what your experience was like, and what you’re looking for in a therapist. The therapist is also assessing fit. If they let you know they don’t think they’re the right therapist for you, they’ll likely have some referrals for you.
The questions you ask during the consultation are completely up to you. There’s no rule about what you’re allowed to ask. Therapy is personal and requires trust, so if there’s something that's important for you to know, you can absolutely ask. Keep in mind, different therapists have different opinions about self disclosure. They’ll let you know if they don’t want to answer something and will hopefully provide their rationale.
Some helpful questions might include:
What is therapy with you like? What can I expect?
Will you provide me with between-session work?
Will we focus more on the past or present?
Can I bring my partner/parent into sessions?
How active are you in session? Who tends to talk more, you or the client?
What modalities do you use? Can you explain them to me?
Have you worked with someone similar to me?
Can you confirm your out of pocket fee? Do you take my insurance?
Are you married? Do you have children? Do you live in my city? Are you religious/spiritual?
Just as (and maybe more) important to the questions you ask during the consultation is how you feel during the consultation. Pay close attention to how you feel emotionally and physically while meeting with a potential therapist.
Ask yourself if they seem like somebody you can trust. Do they seem knowledgeable and empathetic? Have you enjoyed speaking with them?
Establishing a trusting relationship with a therapist takes time. That said, you’re allowed to be picky and trust your gut. You’re also allowed to change your mind after the first couple sessions if it doesn’t seem like a good fit. If this happens, your therapist will provide you with appropriate referrals.
If you’re interested in scheduling a free phone or video consultation with me, please reach out to below.